I have decided to stop using the word 'busy'.
I don't like being 'busy'. I do however like being active, engaged, interested, happy, productive and effective.
I find when i'm 'busy' i'm grumpy. Usually running about doing things i'd rather not be doing, rather than things that would engage me productively and are enjoyable. Even if its hard and challenging work, at the end there is the sense of acomplishment.
Or when someone says oh, sorry, i'm 'busy', I feel that its become a lazy multi purpose word. An excuse in a way. I know i've used it as an excuse when I haven't wanted to so something. So now, I will be saying i'm unavailable when I am double booked or that its not my thing if I don't want to go. Not 'busy'.
When my mum says 'oh you are busy' she does it to guilt me. And its not that i'm 'busy' its that I work and run a business and I have things to do that give me a sense of satisfaction and pay my bills. It's a lot more than 'busy'. Its constructive work that I enjoy. If I didn't enjoy it it would be a grind.
Or the 'busy body'. I really dislike people gettin' up ma buziness, ya'all.
I have also overheard 'oh its really 'busy...' when someone has viewed a quilt. Busy gets used as a negative. I just really don't like this word!
So I am making better decisions about how I spend my time so I am actively engaged in what I am doing and not just 'busy'. I am breaking up my day into tasks so that things get done but I don't get irritated about all the things that I have to do but rather wouldn't.
Its a bit like the Marie Knodo method but for tasks and time. Does it give me joy? But I know that if it doesn't get done, the not doing would irritate and annoy me. So the laundry and house work are done in tasks throughout the week so its not one big lump of grumpy busy.
I am also not spending as much time on a computer or social media, its been good to clear some head space. Slow the pace down a bit. Also, there is an awful lot I no longer need. Its a good feeling. I don't have to keep up with anything I don't want to now, I guess its the anxiety of keeping up, no more. Even though I didn't think it was affecting me, some was still seeping in. I have only noticed this now that I have taken a step back. My thoughts and ideas are clearer and stronger.
Things are a bit different now being out here on a farm. I have other tasks I have to do, I also have to be far more organised as there is a lot more to do and its a long way to the shops if I run out of milk.
So, I have decided to be happier and more engaged in what I do. So no more of this 'busy' shit.